THE MEDIA HAS BEAT DOWN A BROTHER

It seems as if I’ve come to a crossroads in our lectures. In class we discussed of how Social ideals for looks for an individual should are formulated. The discussion in our class period we examined the use of media and how it’s shaped our idea of physical looks and how it has constructed us to follow trends and to accemelate an ideas of others. The media has the power to create the opinions of whole populations. I never noticed how much this would effect me and how much this idea it reminds me so much of my life. Growing up I attended a combined Catholic elementary and middle School and I was basically the only Black student in my class. I remember when I first got to school. A student came up to me and asked me “are you from Compton?” That’s where it first started. It seems at that time I guess those “in the hood” films where on the rise and everybody expected me to be that Black guy. That was tough for me, it seemed everybody felt like I needed to be treated like I used to hang out with Tookie Williams. I would here students talk to other students and say hello and it would sound a little something like “Hey how was your weekend?” Sounds normal right? Well same person asks me that same question but it more sounds like this “Yo dog, what was crackin for you this weekend?”  Then I went to a public high school that’s where if it weren’t for some special people in my life I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done. I remember like it was yesterday and I was hanging out with some friends at school I was listening to talk about growing up. We where talking about eating at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles as children and when our parents used to take us we would be excited. Then a guy who was in our conversation looked at me and said, “How would you know about that? Your not black, your African”. I know that my ancestry doesn’t technically come from America (I am of Ethiopian decent) but I am dark skin of African decent born in America. Doesn’t that make me Black? I grew up with African Americans all my life, all my neighborhood friends where black and looked at me no different, why would you? I couldn’t hang out with Ethiopians because they didn’t accept me either, I wasn’t raised in that culture, I don’t know how to speak the language, I don’t know what it was about, I thought I was Black. I never felt so lonely. I felt like I don’t belong anywhere, who can I identify with? 
Why must I be portrayed as a character from Boys in The  Hood? Why must I be considered and Uncle Tom for being black and trying to get an education? Why must I be hunting for Zebras and cows just because I have a large forehead and look a little bit different. Why must my middle name of Hailu be thought as some Zulu African Chant?